A message for the One they call God

If its a painless death that you offer,
I am willing to take it.
I fear pain and not death.
I am ready to move on.
I'm bored with this world,
with having to work,
with trying not to work.

I am bored with my life
and your's too.
Why was I made?
if only to be stuck here?
I don't wanna live anymore.
Not many thoughts I have anyways.
I have listened to all the music I wanted.
Played all the games.
have cried all I must
and pondered on everything I thought worth thinking.
There is nothing more left for me in this world.

Maybe love, maybe hope, but I exist without and will
do so forever.
I can't take pain anymore.
No poems can I write anyways.
not that I am much of a writer either.

Don't know my own thoughts,
can't see my own thoughts can't see my own dreams,
can't hear my own voice.

I don't seek solace
nor to be comforted,
only to be understood.
which is quite hard
and the poem quite emo I know.
Can't put my head into anything anyways
if there is a problem I just disintegrate.
Why must responsibility be forced onto me?

I smoke,
I hope I die a quick painful death.
Not that it'll change the world anyways.

I 'm totally ineffective as is
my thoughts are best left unsaud
my aspirations none.
I'm counting the days of my life left.

I have seen my futures and can't say I await them.
I just sleep and hope I never wake up.